Freedom in captivity

So I am holding myself captive from a world of fashionable treasures and I must say, that I have tried to escape a few times, but it seems that I am a pretty great warden:)
Last night, I had the privilege of leaving my home for a few hours, without any children to meet up with some friends at the mall...yes, the mall. Now, you have to understand fully, that this mall, does not possess a very high threat to my quest...I am actually afraid to call it a mall...for the fear that someone might pounce on me and correct me...its more like a...hmmm...umm...a little shopping center... w maybe two stores that are worthy enough to walk into? anyway, my point being, that under normal circumstances, I would not consider it a threat...last night, however, I walked into Wet Seal and Forever 21, which I actually like a lot, and while pretending to not be able to find my friends, I did browse through a few sale racks...ahh, the torment, the suffocating pain, the agony of turning away from a $ 2 shirt thats screaming so loudly, it deafens you! The back racks were gently holding a beautiful arrangement of gorgeous, big purses, and I zeroed in on...the one! yes...the one...you know when you find it! its begging you to be held, and touched and smelled and worn on your shoulder! I picked it up slowly, with trembling hands, and I said my heart wrenching goodbye, but not before I vividly imagined how it would look on my shoulder, almost feeling the weight of 20lbs I usually manage to get into any purse that is worthy of my shoulder:)
I quickly put it away, and shuddered at the thought of buying it...ashamed, I walked away feeling somewhat victorious:) it was hard, because the purse had me at hello...but I resisted the charm, and looked away...and I won the battle...so, feeling defeated at the thought of me trying to escape my own captivity, I found my friends and each one was holding at least one glorious item from the store...oh, well...I had found freedom in my captivity...freedom from the guilt I would have felt...freedom from the failure monster...freedom from that which could destroy my year long quest!

its only january...

I've only traveled this new road in my journey for about a little over a month now and I feel pretty confident and victorious most days, but on the days that I forget the purpose for my year long no shopping quest, there is a certain failing aroma, dangling in the air all around me, just waiting to attack my skin...I do not like to smell like a failure, so I try to cover up the disgusting scent with some good, wholesome, sweet smelling love of Jesus:) Yes, folks. I said it. Cheesy? Why yes. True? Indeed, without a doubt. His perfect love and grace are crucial factors that play into my wiser, bolder decisions nowadays- to shop or not to shop? That is the question. So eat my words, Othello...I will choose to not, for only then will I become content and satisfied with what I already have; only then will I choose to serve myself less, and serve others more- with my money, my time, and all other resources that I have been given; only then, will I be willing to learn what it truly means to live in simplicity; only then will I pursue Jesus more and fashion less (no pun intended there- I don't intend to be fashionless, by walking around with a sack cloth over my body-although I have many days when that would be so much easier:)...I am learning to satisfy my material cravings with more substantial, more organic and fulfilling food- His word and His desires for my life...His plans and His pursuing of my heart:) I can definitely succumb to being a fashion victim and not have the latest and the greatest in the fashion industry, knowing that I am conquering a hungry monster within that's persuading me to veer off my and lose my focus on my destination...yes, I miss Goodwill and ETC...and yes, I know they miss me too:) We had a very successful business relationship:) But they understand my quest and my determination to change from within. They will wait for me, no matter how long it takes:)


P.S. so, just as a side note- my birthday is coming up....in......july!!! hahahaha JK!

The real test

I have put this off for a little while...only because I was fearing it. Yes. The truth shall set me free :) With trembling hands and shaky footsteps I dared and entered into the land of earthly eden- Target! I know you completely understand my sentiments toward this consumerism monster...but in this story, the monster is so beautiful and delicate and modern. Every shelf you walk by, every aisle you find yourself in, everything your eyes touch upon emanates pure, sheer joy. Yes. The guilty pleasures of the clearance racks, just waiting to be unleashed. The happy endorphins trying to escape your body, while you're mentally fighting against yourself to not give in:)
Tuesdays are big days at Target. Why? There are markdowns happening that day...yes, my friend. The joy of saving money is ringing in my ears- except, I do not need anything. How can i save money when I don't even have any to spend? Yeah...reality sets in and draws me back into my commitment shell. I have everything I need and more.
With swift steps and eyes not straying from the straight path ahead, I took the road less traveled and set out for my quest of purchasing a humidifier for Sydney's room, and thats it! nothing else. Yes. Sweet smelling victory. Everyone around was so proud of me for conquering the beast. The round of applause was loudly going off in my ears. Yes! I did it! For a moment there, I had forgotten where I was. Found myself lost in a random aisle, that carried nothing of interest to me. Pheww...
To think how easy it is to fall prey to the enemy, if we don't keep up our guard...Conquering a clearance rack at Target is nothing compared with the schemes of the devil, who is trying to deter us daily, from God's love for us. Don't give in today. Fight to the death, no matter what your battle is. Be strong in the Lord and conquer your monster!

My one year without shopping

Over two months ago, i randomly entered into a very brief, sunday morning conversation with a friend of mine, but the 5-7 minute encounter I had experienced, sparked a thought provoking idea that would change a whole year of my life! Well, as of January 1st, 2010, this thrifty queen, this goodwill hunting savage, this fashion pirate seeking long lost treasures, has entered into a year of NO SHOPPING FOR MYSELF AT ALL!
I will give you a minute, so you can regain your composure after going into shock- go ahead and start breathing again, maybe count to ten, and slowly enter into my one year without shopping journey! Come on...it will be fun...or umm...will it???
Aww.. who am I kidding??? It will probably be the hardest year of my life- can you imagine me not bragging about the best, cheapest, most awesome deal or treasure I had found? Adieu, goodbye...sweet-bitter surrender to the goodwill hunting, consigment shopping, yard sale savaging, and regular stores clearance racking- but God has definitely called me into this challenge and I gotta cross that finish life!!! I do have a competitive nature, which I definitely think will give me the extra edge I need, but I guess thats not the point, right? The whole point in my embarking on this journey, is to learn to be content and satisfied with what I already have. I do not need any more clothes. I do not need any more shoes. I do not need any more jewelry, or hats, or scarves, or belts, or purses, or make up...well, you get the point. What I truly need, is to learn to be content with little, and live out my life, loving God and loving people, pursuing His heart, not my materialistic desires.